On a recent trip, a teacher thanked me for coming to speak to the students. As is my custom, I tried to respond by pointing to God, not myself. "We're only the vessels, God gets the glory," I said. I thought the conversation would end there. But it didn't.
Let me give you some background information. On this particular trip, our team spoke at a retreat for a Christian high school in Michigan. This was Axis' second appearance at this school, but this time we spoke at the school retreat. Instead of spending time in their classrooms and chapels, we participated in their small groups. I had some interesting conversations with many students during this retreat, but one group of students felt a little disappointed at the end.
The teacher whom I already mentioned was the leader of this particular group of disappointed students. She said she had asked them what they thought of presentation. Many of them thought the presentation was great, even better than last year. Yet this teacher and I both noticed that these students seemed apathetic during the sessions--they laughed and joked, some leaned their heads back on the chairs, gazing at the ceiling, and others curled up into the fetal position on their chairs and fell asleep. In short, there were several students who blatantly exhibited their disinterest.
So why did they say the presentations were good after acting in this way? Their explanation was that my team's lack of participation in their worship service bothered them. You see, all of the students and even many of the teachers were actively engaged in the worship services, singing, raising their hands with eyes closed, and tears falling down their cheeks. But I was sitting down with my arms folded, probably with a disenchanted look on my face. And that didn't go unnoticed.
Growing up, the part of the church service that usually uplifted me and got me excited were the sermons, not the music. I loved singing in choir, but outside of choir, you usually wouldn't see me standing or clapping. It wasn't because I didn't love God or enjoy singing; it was simply because that wasn't what made me feel most connected to God. So I rarely stand or participate in any praise sessions. I use that time to focus on what God wants to teach me and to prepare my mind in different ways.
But another reason that I didn't participate was that I was upset with the students. As I already mentioned, throughout the presentations, many of the students seemed indifferent to the content. Content that challenged them to own their faith through action and lifestyle, not simply feelings. They were engaged during the songs, willing to show their emotions and to abandon themselves before the presence of God. But as soon as we began to move beyond emotions and engage their intellect, they were bored, disinterested, and distracted. I couldn't help but feel that they were missing the point. So the frustration on my face during the worship services probably disclosed how I was feeling.
To me, they wanted to feel good and be entertained. But after the teacher told me what the students had said, I began to wonder: Did I earn their respect or the right for them to listen to me? Paul says in 1 Corinthians 9,
"For although I am free from all people, I have enslaved myself to all, in order that I may gain more." He later continues, "I have become all things to all people, in order that by all means I may save some."
Paul isn't advocating compromising the Gospel message through syncretism or blending everyone's beliefs together. Instead, the lesson that Paul is teaching here is that sometimes we have to consider what people value and their expression of those values in order to connect with them and show them that we care. We have to participate with them in life and walk alongside them on this rough journey. Moreover, God uses our compassion to win people and influence them. I didn't recognize how much these students valued our participation with them. And why wouldn't they? It's not always about what I prefer; if I am to be like Jesus, then I need to meet people where they are.
In my experience with Axis, students just want to know, "Are you coming to talk my ear off and force your views down my throat or do you really care about me?" That’s why Axis teams don't just speak to the students --we spend time with them. We get to know them, even to the point of remembering all their names within a couple of hours. We want them to know that we work for Axis because we care about them and their futures, not because we want to preach at them. We have been harmed by our own mistakes and care enough about them to help them before they are affected by the consequences we brought on ourselves. I'm not saying that we participate in life with them by being like them and acting immature, but we should consider what they value, and, when appropriate, even participate with them in things they value while encouraging them to be mature.
The students at this Michigan school taught me a lesson: Our actions often preach the Gospel more clearly than what we say.
When have you connected or not connected with people based on your ability or inability to relate to them?
Patrick Wallace has been working for Axis for two years. He leads a team of speakers around the country to help move students and their communities from apathy to compassionate action. Follow Patrick and other Axis Teams on Twitter: @axisteams
