How to Become a Media Expert | Part 5

Since you’ve bookmarked all of those websites I told you about in Part 3 and Part 4 and have them at your fingertips for easy access, you are set! You have everything you need to stay on top of the biggest media trends and one step ahead of your kids. You may not always “get” the trends, like this mom, but the next time they ask if they can watch a certain TV show, instead of saying “I don’t know. Let me think about it,” you can say, “Yes, let’s watch it together and talk about it afterward,” or, “I don’t think that’s a good show to watch because . . .”

That brings up a really good point. I am a firm believer in not just saying “No” or “Yes” or “Because I said so!” Telling your teenage daughter, “No, you can’t go see [insert latest box-office-smash teen movie]. Why? Because I said so! And that’s final!” doesn’t necessarily lend itself to conversation, relationship, or discipleship. It lends itself to slammed doors, angry looks, and sometimes even rebellion. And I know that’s not what you or other parents want.

Kids are able to reason and understand logic at very young ages. As they get older, this ability only strengthens. So don’t sell them short. Treat them like they are capable of seeing why you make the decisions you make. How? By letting them in on your thought process. Once you’ve done your research and made your decision about a piece of media, have a conversation with them about why. Show them all your reasons, including any Scripture that might support your conclusions. Ask them how they feel about it or for any thoughts they have. Listen to them. Keep the dialogue open. They still may not agree with your decision, but they will walk away feeling respected and valued. And in the end, they’ll probably learn a thing or two about discernment, which is the whole point of discipleship.

Another important point: As your kids get older and as the whole family becomes accustomed to your new way of analyzing media, you will eventually want to turn the tables. If your teenage son asks yet again if he can buy the newest Lil’ Wayne album, ask him to look up and print out the lyrics to a few of the songs from the album. Have him read them to you. Then ask him what ideas are within the words, how he thinks those might affect him, and why he would want to listen to that. Every person is different and matures differently, so there is no formula for this. But if you can help your kids see why something is either harmful or helpful, they will probably get to the point where they can make great media choices on their own. 

You might have noticed that I didn’t once tell you to go to your favorite Christian media review website. I didn’t even tell you to check this blog first. That’s because I don’t want anyone else to do the analyzing or critiquing for you. No one else knows your kids, your family history, or your family’s struggles like you do. So how could someone else possibly gauge a situation as well as you can? Don’t get me wrong! I’m not saying to write those websites off completely. They may be a good thing to add to your list of resources as you go along. But for now, learn to do the research and analysis on your own. You won’t regret it.

I know. Sometimes we wake up saying, “Today I don’t feel like doing anything.” And those are the days that it’s hardest to stay up-to-date with culture because it’s not something we want to know about. All the garbage is depressing. And that’s ok. On those days, don’t. Because there will be days that are exactly the opposite: you’re motivated, your kids have asked about different songs or movies, or you can’t sleep and have some time. So those are great days to spend 30 to 45 minutes checking the charts and watching some trailers or reading some lyrics. 

Eventually, you’ll find a schedule that works for you. I tend to check on music on Thursdays when the new Billboard charts are released, as well as one or two other times a week. I tend to check on TV and Movies on Mondays, when the new Nielsen charts are released. And if something particular catches my eye, I’ll take a couple minutes to watch a few trailers or to figure out when a show airs so that I can watch an episode or two. But figure out what works best for you. And don’t stress about it! It really becomes second nature. Once you’ve followed the charts for a few weeks, there will only be a couple new ones each week to get acquainted with.

Any funny stories to share about talking about media with your kids? Any helpful tips? Please comment below. 

And stay tuned for the conclusion of this series, coming Wednesday. I saved the best for last: How to Un-Pollute Your Mind.

This series of blogs was written by Melanie, our Associate Director of Research.

How to Become a Media Expert | Part 4

Now that we’ve covered Movies and TV in Part 3, we can’t stop. We need to press on and talk about music. This is where things get complicated. Why? Because music isn’t just music anymore. It has become a counselor to younger generations. When they’re upset, they listen to music. When they’re happy, they listen to music. When they want to get pumped up, they listen to music. There’s no room for silence anymore.

As a result, the artists who make music have become students’ best friends. And students will defend these artists and their work vehemently. So trying to get your children to stop listening to a certain artist could become a battle. But never fear! In Part 5, I will talk about how to approach students in a way that gets them to think, instead of alienating or enraging them. Anyway, back to staying up-to-date with music trends.

Step 1: Ask Your Kids/Grandkids* (Middle School/Junior High and Older)

Again, this is intimidating, but worth doing. Without any pressure or expectations, just ask your kids what artists and/or songs they and their friends like. If they say they only listen to Christian music, that’s ok. Just ask them which songs other people their age are listening to. This removes the pressure of them seeming like the bad guys and allows you to get some answers. Of course, these will be the first artists/songs you will want to get acquainted with.

Total time: No more than 10 minutes

*If you really don’t like the idea of asking your kids, no problem. Just proceed to Step 2!

Step 2: Check All the Charts

Again, charts are amazing! And because music is such a big deal in American culture, there are many that track the popularity of songs, albums, and artists.

1. Billboard—Billboard has been tracking music sales and popularity for over 70 years, so their Hot 100 chart (updated every Thursday) is the place to start. This chart tells you which songs are the most popular, regardless of genre. If you’d like to dig a little deeper, they also have charts for different genres, as well as for album sales.
2. YouTube Channels & Artists’ Channels—As with movies, there is also a YouTube-generated channel that shows the top music videos, as well as which videos are trending and top videos for a few specific genres. Just click the icon that has headphones on it, then click “subscribe.” If you’d like to keep up-to-date on a particular artist, just type his/her name in the search bar, find his/her “official” channel (many are simply called “Vevo” channels), and subscribe. Any time you’re on the main YouTube page, the feed will inform you if any of these artists have posted new videos.
3. iTunes Store—Again, get iTunes! Since their charts are updated daily, you can really get a pulse on what’s trending from day to day. The music charts are the first charts on the right side of the store. You can see which songs, music videos, and albums are trending.
4. Top 40 Charts—Top40-charts.com offers a USA Top 40 chart and a USA Top Albums chart, as well as charts for other countries. In addition, America’s Top 40 offers a weekly updated list of the Top 40 songs on the radio. These charts will keep you updated on songs you are likely to hear, whether you want to or not, anywhere the radio is played.

Total time: No more than 10 minutes

Step 3: Read Lyrics, Listen to Songs, Watch Music Videos**

Ok, here’s the part where I start to get a wee bit frustrated. My coworkers may or may not be getting tired of hearing me from across the office: “. . . so I cross my heart, and I hope to die—these songs are going to be the death of America!!” Ok, I’m never that extreme. But you get the point: lyrics to pop songs can be frustrating, depressing, and disheartening. So you will probably find yourself reacting similarly once you realize the huge number of songs that are shamelessly promoting bad ideas. But carry on. Your frustration is what will remind you how important it is to teach your kids about the dangerous messages embedded within catchy tunes, “sick beats,” and glamorous music videos. Here are some resources to utilize:

1. AZLyrics.com—There are many other lyrics websites, but I only recommend this one because they don’t have any advertisements or links to music videos. (Many other sites basically advertise for the artists, putting up images that only add to the noise and filth.) Simply type in the name of the song and artist you want to look up, then click on the song. NOTE: Always start with reading the lyrics first! You’ll avoid getting songs with horrible lyrics stuck in your head, yet still be able to analyze the content.
2. iTunes—iTunes allows you to listen to part of a song very easily. If you mouse over the songs in the iTunes charts, a little play button appears. This is convenient for those of us who are in a hurry and don’t have time to listen to the whole song. It also lets you watch 30 seconds of a music video. But beware of things marked “explicit”! (I stumbled upon the unedited version of Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” this summer in this way. I assumed that “explicit” just meant bad words. Boy was I wrong!)
3. YouTube—Nowadays, many pop artists are releasing “lyric videos” before they release their music videos. This is a great way to listen to an entire song with the words on the screen. In addition, this is the place to find music videos. As much as I hate encouraging you to watch them, there are many songs that are decent enough . . . until you watch the music video (most recent example: Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen). I don’t know about you, but I’d rather not put my stamp of approval OR disapproval on something until I know as much as possible about it.

**A WORD TO THE WISE!! Music videos are dangerous business. Many artists’ videos are no longer art—they are simply highly sexualized images attached to a song (some are even devolving into soft-core porn). And how do they warn us? They’re simply marked as “explicit,” which could mean any number of things. This is why I HIGHLY DISCOURAGE anyone who has struggled with sexual sin, especially addiction to pornography, from watching music videos. Just don’t go there. Have your spouse or another trusted adult watch them for you. They can easily inform you of a video’s contents without you having the images forever engrained on your mind. (Does this help convince you of how important it is to talk about music videos with your kids?!)

Total time: Depends on the number of songs you’re looking up. Anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes.

Step 4: Determine the Value

This is not an exact science. It will be tough to decide what your kids are ready for, what should be used for teaching, and what should be avoided altogether. But seek wisdom, spend time in prayer, and follow biblical principles. Remember, your parental discernment invaluable. Don’t let your kids convince you otherwise, even when they’re kicking and screaming because of a decision you made. If you have good, biblical reasons for your decision, then stick to it. They will understand (and appreciate) it one day. Here are some things to keep in mind:

• Look for dangerous ideas and imagery, not just “bad words.” Yes, bad words are dangerous, too, but there are way too many songs that are considered “clean” that are also full of innuendos, slang, and un-biblical ideas. It’s always good to talk to your kids about why we shouldn’t use foul language, but it’s the not-so-obvious content that can be the most damaging. Keep your eyes/ears on the lookout for that, too. (One recent example: “Some Nights” by Fun.)
• Does this help us to love what God loves and hate what He hates? If the answer to this is no, say no to it. Let’s not celebrate the things that break God’s heart or degrade His Holy Name. God loves humor, but not at the expense of one of His beloved people and not if it includes things He hates.
• Can we learn something from this? There are still many artists who create beautiful songs and music videos. Sometimes their work talks about real-world problems that need to be addressed. The problems are not beautiful or safe, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we should avoid them. When your children are ready, use these types of songs as a springboard into talking about bigger issues. For example, a 5-year-old may not be ready to talk about the existence of evil in the world as it’s presented in Flo Rida’s “I Cry” music video, but a 10-year-old might be. And if you don’t talk to your 10-year-old about it, someone else will (and most likely tell them things you don’t agree with).
• Have my kids already heard about this topic from another source? If your kids have already been exposed to pornography (or music videos that are very close to it), then you need to start talking to them about it yesterday. Don’t wait until they’ve already seen it. Talk to them about it first. Yes, we don’t want to bring it up before they’re ready, but the reality is that they’re exposed to it much earlier than when they’re “ready” for it. Let’s give them God’s perspective on pornography and other important topics before they’re hooked.
• Are my kids ready to be exposed to these ideas or topics? Only you can best judge what your kids are ready for. Again, our culture doesn’t always wait until kids are ready. This is where your ability to monitor their activities can help avoid having your six-year-old come home from school and ask what “S&M” is. You can’t control everything, so you still need to be ready to talk about anything and everything. But one nine-year-old girl may not care one iota about boys, make-up, and clothes, while the next can’t wait until she gets her first pair of heels. These girls will need their parents to disciple them in the area of relationships and sex starting at different times in their lives.

Total time: Depends on you. Take some time to think about it, but don’t dwell on it. Talk to your spouse and other adults you trust if you’re unsure. Ask God for wisdom and discernment.

What are some principles you follow when analyzing music? Do you have any helpful stories to share with other parents? Please comment below!

On Monday in Part 5, I will talk about how to approach your kids about pop culture in ways that don’t alienate or frustrate them.

This series of blogs was written by Melanie, our Associate Director of Research.

How to Become a Media Expert | Part 3

Now that I (hopefully) made the case in Part 2 for the importance of being informed and up-to-date about pop culture, time for the practical stuff! 

Let’s face it: We’re all ridiculously busy. The last thing any of us want to add to our already crazy days is “Fill my mind with filth.” I get it. As I said before, I don’t enjoy being well-informed about this . . . well . . . junk. But no matter where we live or what sub-cultures we’re part of, we must be informed, for the sake of those who can’t (or won’t or don’t) yet translate a well-made, flashy music video into the dangerous ideas it espouses.

So where in the world do we start?! Luckily for us, the same technologies and platforms that make it easy for students to keep up-to-date with the latest trends are also available to us. Work = done. Someone’s already done it for us! Even for those who aren’t very technologically savvy, it’s a piece of cake. If you know how to use a web browser and iTunes, you’re set. (If you don’t, that’s ok, too. They’re easy to use. I will help. Anyone born after the year 1980 can help as well.)

Also, I believe that to get started, you only need to get acquainted with two categories: Movies/TV and Music. Yep, I said only two categories. Sure, pop culture has many more parts besides just those two, but in my experience, movies/TV and music are the most influential. (If you have a gamer in the family, then you’ll need to check three categories.) So let’s start with Movies/TV.

I grouped the two together because they are experienced through screens, story-based, and lengthy. Watching an entire season of a TV show requires way more time than listening to a three-minute song. Even though they’re longer, it doesn’t take as much time as you’d think to know what ideas are in a show or a movie. Here’s what to do:

Step 1: Ask Your Kids/Grandkids* (Middle School/Junior High and Older)

This step is so obvious, yet intimidating. “Ask my kids about pop culture?! Are you nuts?!!” Maybe, but that’s neither here nor there. Don’t worry, this is just for research, so no teaching or “lecturing” involved (yet). Just ask what movies and TV shows they watch, want to watch, or have heard all their friends talk about. Make sure to write them down so you don’t forget. If your kids do mention specific shows/movies they wish they could see, those will be the first ones to research.

Total time: No more than 10 minutes

*If you really don’t like the idea of asking your kids, no problem. Just proceed to Step 2!

Step 2: Check All the Charts

I love charts! They make my job—and yours—super easy. Once or twice a week, take some time to check them and get a pulse on what’s trending. Here’s a list of the best websites to check: 

1. Center for Parent/Youth Understanding (CPYU)—The CPYU is all about helping parents understand youth culture. I highly recommend CPYU. Their page of Top 10 Lists covers everything from TV shows and movies to video games and Google searches. Easy peasy. You can also sign up for their e-Updates so you don’t even have to remember to check the lists; they remind you! Lists are updated once a week or so.
2. Nielson—These are the people best known for their “Nielson Ratings.” They’ve been doing market research for over 60 years, so you know their weekly Top 10 Lists are gold. (They research more than just TV, too.) And if you’ve got an Android or iPhone, there’s an app for checking on the go or while waiting for the orthodontist to tighten your kids’ braces.
3. Fandango—Yep, the place where you check movie times is also the place to check which movies are the most popular in theaters. Just go to their Top Box Office page to see the top 50 highest grossing movies of the week. Results are updated every Monday.
4. iTunes Store—If you don’t have iTunes on your computer, get it! Their store has handy dandy lists on the right side. Just scroll down until you find Top Movies and Top TV Shows. Keep in mind: these lists only account for sales on iTunes, which is why it’s a good supplement to other charts.
5. YouTube Channels—Since YouTube has started offering movies for sale, they have a channel that reports the top selling movies. Just move your mouse over the icon that looks like a movie reel and click “Subscribe.” Now, anytime time you go to your YouTube Homepage, it will be in the column on the left side for easy access.

Total time: No more than 10 minutes, especially if you bookmark these websites for quick access

Step 3: Watch Trailers, Episodes, Clips

Now that you’re armed with the knowledge of which shows and movies are popular, it’s time to find out what’s in them. Nope, you don’t have to watch an entire TV series or go see a movie to know what it’s all about (case in point: this trailer for a movie called Rapturepalooza tells you everything you need to know). One or two episodes will usually give you the gist, although with some of them, you might only need to watch for a few minutes to discover what lies beneath. Here are the best places to find clips and trailers:

1. YouTube—Every trailer of every movie made within in the past 5 years (at least) is on YouTube. Just type in the name of the movie, hit “enter,” and click on the trailer. Note: If a movie has a “red band trailer,” that means it’s too vulgar to show on TV or in theaters. Take that as a hint.
2. Hulu—Hulu is a site that allows you to watch many TV shows for free. In addition, they post lots of clips. Check Hulu to see if the show is available.
3. The Website of the Show/Movie—Clips, trailers, and full episodes are often available. Just type in the name of the show/movie on Google, and the website is usually one of the first results.
4. Television—If you have TV at home, many times the best thing to do is watch an episode when it airs.

Total time: Depends on the number of movies/shows you’re looking up. Anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes.

Step 4: Determine the Value

This is where your discernment as a parent becomes irreplaceable. Only you can know what your children are ready for. And only you have the ability to disciple them in the area of media. So once you’ve collected all the data you need, it’s time to analyze. Using these categories may be helpful:

• Filth: It has no redeeming qualities, just sex/drugs/violence/humor/scandal/nudity in order to make a buck. Examples: The Pineapple Express, The Fast and The Furious (all of them), Superbad, The Big Bang Theory, Rapturepalooza
• Mindless Entertainment: There’s nothing horribly wrong with it, but there’s nothing great about it either. Watching it can be a nice way to unwind . . . or just another mindless thing that distracts us from life. Comedies tend to fall in this category. Example: Fantastic Mr. Fox 
• Teaching Moment: There may be some violence/drug use/etc, but it’s not gratuitous, and it’s all in there to make a larger point, to show real life, or to show redemption. Examples: Amistad, Lincoln, The Hunger Games, The Blindside, Gran Torino
• Worth Watching: These are rare, but they do exist. They are well-written, well-produced, beautiful, and ask good questions. Examples: Tree of Life, The Lord of the Rings (series), Inception
• On the Fence: These are pieces of media that you’re just not sure your kids are ready for; you may be able to teach them something from it, but certain aspects may be too much too soon. Examples: The Hunger Games, The Lord of the Rings (series), The Blindside, The Bling Ring, Gran Torino

Total time: Depends on you. Take some time to think about it, but don’t dwell on it. Talk to your spouse and other adults you trust if you’re unsure. Ask God for wisdom and discernment.

Whew! Long post. I’m sorry. But I hope you find it all useful. If you’re already a media expert, let us know in the comments the sources you use to stay up-to-date or the criteria you use to determine whether your kids should watch something or not.

In Part 4, coming Wednesday, I will give you practical, easy ways to stay up-to-date with music.

This series of blogs was written by Melanie, our Associate Director of Research.