When is "It's not that bad" okay?

“Mom, can I please see this movie? It’s PG-13, not R, it doesn’t have any sex scenes, there aren’t any drugs, and it only has a couple of bad words. Please? Pretty pretty pretty please???”

As anyone who has ever had the privilege of parenting teens knows, this isn’t an unusual conversation. We’ve all heard (or said) it before: “But all my friends are going!” or “I will be the biggest loser in school if you don’t let me go!” or “The bad stuff in the movie won’t affect me. I just want to see it for the visual effects.” So the pleas go.

And if you’ve ever said “No” to one of these desperate, puppy-dog-eyed teenagers, you also know that it’s often followed by angry insults, storming off, and slamming doors. Inevitably, if we say “No” enough, we start to wonder if we’re just being too strict or controlling. After all, some movies really aren't that bad.

A recent example of this type of movie is Premium Rush, which follows Wilee as he rides his bike through the busy streets of New York City to make deliveries and eventually finds himself delivering the wrong package and fighting for his life. The plot is interesting enough, the action is well filmed, and the acting is decent. And, compared with many PG-13 films these days, there really aren’t that many instances of sexuality, drugs, alcohol, or profane language.

So a Christian parent finds himself in a conundrum, thinking, "Compared to most movies today, it’s really not that bad, and since movies are part of culture, we can’t just keep our kids from seeing every movie ever made! Maybe this is the time to say yes."

And in many instances, you’d be right. That’s right, we are advocating to say yes and let your teenagers see a movie or two--as long as you commit to seeing the movie as well. For some movies that your teen will want to see this may seem like a chore, but it is the only way to be able to open up the door for conversation. 

Why should we say yes to some of these movies? Because as we just said it opens up the door for conversation and growth. Many movies ask good questions (the really good ones don’t necessarily answer them but give you different perspectives to think about) that teens today take for granted. By seeing these films with your teens, you can help them confront difficult issues in a safe environment. And because movies tell stories, they are often more effective at reaching teens than simply sitting down with them to lecture them about how they should behave or think.

Do you think that movies are a good teaching tool for students? What are some other ways that you think they can be effectively reached? You may comment below...

Ultimately, you, as the parent, must take the time to figure out which movies include violence, foul language, or other inappropriate material because they are simply trying to be true to life versus which ones add it in just to make the movie sell better. And only you know what your teen can handle and what he/she is just not ready for yet. Whatever you decide, try to show your teen some love by explaining to him/her the reasons for your decision. Even if they are initially angry, most teens will come around and agree with the wisdom behind your choice.

In the case of Premium Rush, if you do decide to see and discuss the film with your teen, make sure to consider the effects of normalizing. Though the movie does present some difficult ethical decisions, in the end, it just assumes that certain “values” transcend all others, including following the law. By doing so, it subversively presents these values as superior and wants the reader to sympathize with the “hero,” rather than allowing the viewer to wonder if there might be a better way.

And, as always, if you do see these kinds of films, make a plan with your teen to pray against whatever lies and deception you may have encountered. Images can be burned into our minds long after the movie is over, so keep the conversation open.

image credits: http://bit.ly/O8VeNI