Monday, November 25, 2013

How to Become a Media Expert | Part 5

Since you’ve bookmarked all of those websites I told you about in Part 3 and Part 4 and have them at your fingertips for easy access, you are set! You have everything you need to stay on top of the biggest media trends and one step ahead of your kids. You may not always “get” the trends, like this mom, but the next time they ask if they can watch a certain TV show, instead of saying “I don’t know. Let me think about it,” you can say, “Yes, let’s watch it together and talk about it afterward,” or, “I don’t think that’s a good show to watch because . . .”

That brings up a really good point. I am a firm believer in not just saying “No” or “Yes” or “Because I said so!” Telling your teenage daughter, “No, you can’t go see [insert latest box-office-smash teen movie]. Why? Because I said so! And that’s final!” doesn’t necessarily lend itself to conversation, relationship, or discipleship. It lends itself to slammed doors, angry looks, and sometimes even rebellion. And I know that’s not what you or other parents want.

Kids are able to reason and understand logic at very young ages. As they get older, this ability only strengthens. So don’t sell them short. Treat them like they are capable of seeing why you make the decisions you make. How? By letting them in on your thought process. Once you’ve done your research and made your decision about a piece of media, have a conversation with them about why. Show them all your reasons, including any Scripture that might support your conclusions. Ask them how they feel about it or for any thoughts they have. Listen to them. Keep the dialogue open. They still may not agree with your decision, but they will walk away feeling respected and valued. And in the end, they’ll probably learn a thing or two about discernment, which is the whole point of discipleship.

Another important point: As your kids get older and as the whole family becomes accustomed to your new way of analyzing media, you will eventually want to turn the tables. If your teenage son asks yet again if he can buy the newest Lil’ Wayne album, ask him to look up and print out the lyrics to a few of the songs from the album. Have him read them to you. Then ask him what ideas are within the words, how he thinks those might affect him, and why he would want to listen to that. Every person is different and matures differently, so there is no formula for this. But if you can help your kids see why something is either harmful or helpful, they will probably get to the point where they can make great media choices on their own. 

You might have noticed that I didn’t once tell you to go to your favorite Christian media review website. I didn’t even tell you to check this blog first. That’s because I don’t want anyone else to do the analyzing or critiquing for you. No one else knows your kids, your family history, or your family’s struggles like you do. So how could someone else possibly gauge a situation as well as you can? Don’t get me wrong! I’m not saying to write those websites off completely. They may be a good thing to add to your list of resources as you go along. But for now, learn to do the research and analysis on your own. You won’t regret it.

I know. Sometimes we wake up saying, “Today I don’t feel like doing anything.” And those are the days that it’s hardest to stay up-to-date with culture because it’s not something we want to know about. All the garbage is depressing. And that’s ok. On those days, don’t. Because there will be days that are exactly the opposite: you’re motivated, your kids have asked about different songs or movies, or you can’t sleep and have some time. So those are great days to spend 30 to 45 minutes checking the charts and watching some trailers or reading some lyrics. 

Eventually, you’ll find a schedule that works for you. I tend to check on music on Thursdays when the new Billboard charts are released, as well as one or two other times a week. I tend to check on TV and Movies on Mondays, when the new Nielsen charts are released. And if something particular catches my eye, I’ll take a couple minutes to watch a few trailers or to figure out when a show airs so that I can watch an episode or two. But figure out what works best for you. And don’t stress about it! It really becomes second nature. Once you’ve followed the charts for a few weeks, there will only be a couple new ones each week to get acquainted with.

Any funny stories to share about talking about media with your kids? Any helpful tips? Please comment below. 


And stay tuned for the conclusion of this series, coming Wednesday. I saved the best for last: How to Un-Pollute Your Mind.


This series of blogs was written by Melanie, our Associate Director of Research.

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